Mole on my Foot

Positive?!%$&*

This month didn’t start out good for us. The hubby got sick and then I got sick. It wasn’t all that bad, just cough, colds and fever. I chalked it up to a regular flu. However a few days after the fever, I realized that I lost my sense of smell and taste. I was cooking the husband’s breakfast when I couldn’t smell what I was making. But I was no longer that sick then, just a few sniffles and cough.

A couple of days after, that was a Thursday, the husband was invited to take an antigen test because one of his clients was sick. The client suspected that he might have COVID, and he wanted his family and close contacts to be tested as well. So the hubby brought me along to avail– and lo and behold! I was reactive. Now the antigen test is not the RT-PCR which is a confirmatory test, merely like a pre-test to check. That threw me off because I thought I just had a regular flu brought on by the weather. (Right now, the country is in summer season with temperatures are kind of higher than usual). So I stayed home and isolated myself. Didn’t go out and basically hibernated.

Only two of us were reactive, the other one was the hubby’s client. But his was a different story because the pain he felt was bad. Like he couldn’t even breathe, had no sense of smell and had intense body malaise. He was almost going to be admitted to the hospital, it was that kind of sickness.

The day after, which was Friday, I had regained my sense of smell although I had no appetite still. I only ate to assuage my hunger and avoid hurting my stomach due to the vitamins I was taking. Like I was loading up on Vitamin C and multivitamins like crazy.

After a week, we took the antigen test again. Because I was feeling totally back to normal I was confident I was no longer reactive. And I wasn’t. So I was back in business. I had missed my baby boy so much. This is what I hated about being isolated because I would be away from the people I loved.

That was my COVID experience. It might not have been properly diagnosed because we didn’t take the RT-PCR test but I realized that this disease is truly manageable if you are a healthy individual. If you exercise regularly and have no co-morbidities, you will get through it although the virus strain could also be a factor. I concluded that I got the virus from my brother’s colleague who was diagnosed positive but asymptomatic. We were both at my mother’s house at the same time and he is the only person I could think of.

To be honest, I’m glad to have gone through it. It made me realize that we have to take care of our health because this virus can hit you anytime, anywhere. You will truly need to maintain physical distance in public, wear a mask everywhere if you can and as much as possible, stay at home!

One Year

March 12, 2020. It was on this day that I came home from Cebu. I had gone off for two things: work and my mother’s 3rd chemotherapy session. Last January 2020, my mother was officially diagnosed with Stage 3 Cancer. She had to undergo six chemotherapy cycles and one month of radiation therapy. My brother and I had agreed to split the cycles because he could not afford to take too much time off work. It was fine with my schedule because my trip dates depended on my time.

We were on the third cycle when the pandemic started. We had to have the fourth to sixth cycle at home, in our local hospital because travel was not possible. Her radiation therapy is also put on hold as traveling to Cebu right now seems scary. My mom is no longer taking any medication and she is slowly getting back to her old ways. She finished her last session last May and was supposed to start radiation therapy by June. She did lose all her hair but has long since grew it back, she is now always tending her plants and even sold a few pricey pieces. And buying many new plants in the process.

But my one year posy is not about that mainly. Rather it is about how I haven’t gone off to work and rode a plane, boat, or bus in a year. The only vehicles I have rode this year are: bicycle, tricycle, motorcycle, car and jet ski. Haha! Like seriously, I have not gone anywhere off this island since that date. But I am not complaining, mind. I am merely stating a fact. That I, whose job is to visit Visayas and Mindanao islands for work, is home and loving it. Sure, it would be nice to go around for a spell, eat food I have missed and see a different view. But the truth is, I don’t want to burst this bubble I am in.

There will soon be a vaccine for all of us, and my company is bound to force me to get one. By then, I will no longer have an excuse and will need to work for real. But for now, I am enjoying me-time, quality family time and just good old stay home time. I have become a homebody in the last decade or so that going anywhere is now a hardship for me. True, it may have affected our income but relationship wise, we are thriving. So this virus had something good going, too.

We are fortunate that none of my family has gotten seriously ill in the past year, save for my mom’s diagnosis. Even my 93 year old grandfather is doing well. He is tired most days but can still walk around and enjoy. We even take him to the beach and to family gatherings. So this one year can stretch to two years and we’re still good. I hope you will be, too.

Oh Valentines!

I married a not so very romantic man. My husband does not buy flowers or even simple thoughtful gifts for special occasions–Valentine’s Day included. While no woman would refuse a bouquet of flowers, I think we sometimes have to be practical as well. Flowers, candy and chocolate becomes overpriced when February 14 comes along. Besides, I would be happy to receive a huge Toblerone over a bunch of roses, mind you.

Honestly, Valentine’s Day for me is overrated. It forces couples to shell out money for something that is not even a real holiday. It has become a money-making venture, in reality. You cannot just get flowers and chocolate alone. Sometimes, an additional present such as a stuffed toy or plushie, cake and balloons is needed, too. Those who are single feel left out and those with more than one partner are even more pressured. Haha!

I never pressure the hubby for anything, even on more meaningful days. As long as we spend the day together and enjoy ourselves, we’re good. In fact, our Valentine’s Day plan is to join friends for a party with a live band, open bar and buffet dinner. This is fine by me so we won’t have to spend at all and yet still celebrate. I mean, it really is just another day. I’d be happier to sleep in and not have a ringing alarm clock over a bunch of overpriced, almost wilting flower bouquet any day. But that’s just me!

Joyful and Blessed

Most people my age have already have their own house, vehicle, a handful of kids and a stable job. I have only one of the above, which is a stable job and only one child.

My husband and I have yet to build our house, we have a car and a motorcycle but the vehicle is actually issued by the company that I work for. I don’t shell out any money for its upkeep and even my mobile phone and Internet data is paid for by them. If people would look at me, I’d probably be considered moderately successful.

I would like to have my own house one day and I guess that’s the extent of my ambitions. I do not have the driving force to aspire for too much money, except for extra funds for traveling, because I want to enjoy life. I don’t want to spend my days slaving over a job and piling up money for the future. I am a “live in the moment” kind of person and I want to sleep at night knowing I had a good day. I don’t want to regret not spending enough time with people who matter like my little boy who will soon be a teenager, my parents, extended family and a few close friends.

I show up at our family house daily, I keep in touch with friends who are close to me and am often by myself most of the time. I don’t advertise my life on social media but truly I am blessed beyond words. I have enough difficulties to keep me on my toes, enough love to keep me going and most importantly, good health. My work is challenging because of the pandemic (I don’t get to travel for now) but so far, it is shaping up as expected.

I guess I am one of the most laid back and grounded person ever. According to my husband, nothing ever fazes me–not even my mother’s bout with cancer. But the truth is I find my joy in the Lord. My faith keeps me joyful and blessed. When I am in a difficult situation, I pray. When I am happy, I pray. I always believe that things happen for a reason, so I take all things in stride. I am fine if I have money in my wallet and will do without just as well. The truth is, I am happier broke because I won’t have to dream of buying unnecessary stuff, only the basics such as food and groceries.

Basically, my gratitude and contentment keeps me simple and sane. I am grateful for what I have now and anything in excess just would be extra blessings. Sure, I want to not have to worry about my finances but then, where would the challenge in living be? If I had too much money, I would probably end up being too materialistic. I mean sure, I dream of getting a new oven, an air fryer, a KitchenAid mixer, a good quality food processor and a spice rack to die for but I can do without for now.

I cannot offer anyone advice on how to live their lives, to be grateful for what they have and all that. But if I could give you a hint, try reading the Bible daily and writing in a journal about what you read. You don’t have to allot too much time. I read one chapter at night, choose a verse or two that struck me or find most meaningful and write it down in my notebook. Doing this before bedtime or prior to starting your day is a good habit. It will probably take you ten minutes or less but you’ll find it makes huge difference in your day. Sometimes, the thing you are most concerned about gets answered when you open the Bible. Give it a shot today, You’ll thank me later.

Losing weight –not!

I have been desperately trying to lose weight since 2019 to no avail. Haha! I’m not that obese but I do have about 20 or so extra pounds to shed. However, try as I might, the fats have come to stay. Like seriously, I work out 4-5 times a week and try to fast intermittently but it doesn’t seem to be working. When I was younger, I only had to skip dinner for two weeks and I’d reach my goal. Now, it has been two years and the pounds seem to compound instead of diminish.

Honestly, I am getting desperate and I don’t know what to do. Well, I do know I need to cut sugar but I keep on baking. Then there’s rice and pasta and breads. It’s just my misfortune that I am not blessed with high-speed metabolism or with the slender build of most models. Haha! On a serious note, I attempt to try to limit my calories, then someone’s birthday comes up or a friend calls you up for a date. Then there’s also me having a craving for this dish or that and I end up cooking it.

At least my husband sees that I’m exercising regularly so he can’t complain about how I look. And he married me, so he’s got this sexy body for life. Ugh! Help me though. Maybe one of you has a secret they’d be willing to share. Tips are truly welcome.

M-I-L

Anyone who is married or once was married can probably relate to my title. Yes, you guessed it, the dreaded word: Mother-in-Law. Haha!

As a Libra, I can adjust well with people. I am the type who can talk to the janitor and the boss with ease. I am diplomatic and people often open up to me because I keep them talking about their lives and whatnot all they want. I can be gregarious, quiet, sensitive, sarcastic and rude, depending on whom I am talking to.

But for crying out loud, I cannot like my MIL. I have known her for about 6 years but since we are temporarily living with her, I am dying. Haha! I was fine with her before because I was not staying in their house. She is someone I cannot live with for life. Like I am tolerating her presence because I have no choice. I am thankful she is still working and is gone from 8-5. I don’t leave our bedroom unless she is gone so I won’t have to see her. I usually return to the house late at night, long after she has slept to avoid meeting her. On days when she doesn’t work, I leave the house immediately and only stay there if the husband is around. Last December, she was off work for two weeks, you could not see me there past 8am.

You might think me petty but it can be irritating how she doesn’t even bother cleaning the house on weekends because is always tending to her plants. I clean when she is not around because I cannot stand a dirty floor. Ugh! She is a hoarder and she actually has magazines from the 80’s.She cannot leave you alone and always asks what you are drinking or eating, even if it is just tea or a piece of bread. And you simply cannot put out a loaf of bread because she will toast the entire thing to a crisp. I am irritated by this because I like my bread white and fluffy, not dark and hard to bite. Also, she dilutes the dishwashing liquid with about 70% water in the solution. And she cannot be bothered to clean-as-you-go while she cooks. Actually, the list goes on but you get my point, I’m sure.

It might seem like minor things but this is what I have been enduring in the last 7 months. I cannot wait to leave and stay in our own house. So I always pray and ask the Lord to hasten the process and I just tell myself God is teaching me to be patient and to broaden my understanding. Haha! I am merely rationalizing, I know but I have to do what I can to keep me sane.

Together For Always

I did get married last June 20, 2020. The husband chose the date even before the pandemic and since we were allowed to do so, it pushed through. I married late by most people’s standards and to someone younger than me (just a couple of years, though).

We are not your traditional people so I wore a pink wedding gown, did not have any bridesmaids or a hen night and hardly any friends invited. I come from a big family so with the 50 people guest list, about three quarters of them were my relations.

It was a simple wedding, a Christian ceremony that probably lasted less than half an hour. I remember having chosen a good selection of food, but I can only recall eating a few bites of the Asian noodles, roast beef and the wedding cake. Looking back, I realize this is how getting married is supposed to. I would have enjoyed spending just 10 minutes in peace partaking of the wedding feast but it wasn’t to be. Ugh. Like once all the guests have left and remnants of the wedding packed up, we ordered pizza and ate leftover rice and roast pig.

Nevertheless, I have been married for 7 months now. I haven’t had a proper honeymoon yet and we still don’t have our own house. Still we are getting by, happy most days, bickering on some. The only changes are that I now sleep in a smaller bed with someone else, have to cook breakfast almost daily and finally can have legal s*x. Haha!

The husband and I have a relaxed relationship and I am hoping we will be together for a very long time. Of course, praying for a baby is natural but let’s just be realistic here. I have always been scared of failing at marriage that is why I was always commitment-phobic. It was all right to have a boyfriend because you could easily break up but when you are legally bound, it can be a bit tricky just leaving in the middle of a fight. I didn’t title it forever because some cynics often say there is no such thing as forever. For always seems good enough, right?

this is where our wedding and reception took place.

Social Media and Me

Unlike most people with accounts in all social media platforms, I only have a Facebook and an Instagram account. I used to have one on MySpace but that has long been defunct. I also have a Twitter account that I don’t use (and have long deleted the app on my mobile).

For Facebook, I use it to check on others. Haha! I haven’t posted anything since 2 years ago probably when I changed by profile picture, I think. My friend says I need to change it but I haven’t done so. I hardly react on people’s posts and I’ve snoozed and unfollowed a lot of friends since the lockdown. I comment on some funny posts and I merely use it to get memes to send on Messenger to my tribe. My Instagram account does not have my face but rather the food I cook or bake. It is a food-stagram basically and my name and identity is not known.

I have nothing against these sites but sometimes, the people on it can be quite irritating. A lot of them either humble brag (or outright showoff), rant, are quite insensitive, too political or just plain useless.

I know it is important to some especially for those with family in the other side of the world but sometimes posting truly nonsensical things is just bad taste. Some people need social media to feel validated, to be admired and to prove that they are better off. And yet the reality is that they are not all that. This is what irks me. I mean so many people starve just to lose weight so they look good in photos. Like seriously??? For someone like me who thinks food is heaven, this would seem preposterous. Who cares if you’ve gained weight? You can still look beautiful and handsome. Skinny does not always equal perfection. Honestly!

This is partly why I don’t post my whereabouts, events and whatnot. I may show a story or two but it is only good for 24 hours and not visible in the newsfeed. It is usually my food, pets or the view but nothing that important. I probably post a selfie once every couple of months but other than that, people won’t know how I look now unless they see me tagged by other friends or in person.

I know I may seem like a righteous a** and should leave people alone. It is their social media account anyway and they are free to post and show off as often as they want. But I guess I just needed to have this out in the open. I’m sure there are others who feel like I do. I mean let’s not get started on the spelling and grammar. Haha! Peace out!

New Year, New What?

2020 has come and gone. Most would say good riddance, right? For me, the past year was more of a blessing than a nightmare. Last year, I was able to rediscover the old me. I was able to get back into baking and cooking, to spending long overdue time with family (thanks to working from home) and got married in the process. Haha! What lockdown, you might ask.

Seriously, despite the difficulties of the past year, not to mention the anxieties, worries, struggles and scares that Covid-19 wrought upon us all, it was a revelation. So I am expecting a lot from 2021. A lot, in the sense that we should continue with the good that we have got from 2020 and improve on it.

I will be turning 40 this year and along with that is the desire to have another child. I know, it ,may seem like a challenge but I am hopeful. Then there’s work target to be met, finances to be managed and all the rest of the usual problems we have day to day.

Still and all, with fingers crossed, a pocketful of sunshine and lots of faith 2021 will be good to us. Let us remain happy and hopeful for the coming days. Trust me, all will be well.

Getting to Know Me

They always say that some people do not show their true selves to the world. They probably offer a quarter of their real personality because they feel unworthy, inadequate or shy to do so. I myself am not quite true to the people around me, not because I have something to hide, but rather because I hate sharing facts about me. I would much rather keep to myself rather than go out and socialize.

When I was thinking of what to write, I decided to list down a few things about me, partly to discover who I really am.

I’m a Libra, born in September. Counting backwards, I was obviously made in December. Cuddle weather and all. Haha!
I’m a middle child, in between an older sister and a younger brother. Totally a displaced offspring, I hated my brother while we were growing up. We have a five year age gap so I technically was the youngest child for a while before he showed up.
I grew up in a single-parent household because my father always worked out of town. He would come home for a month or so in two years and I distinctly being afraid of him when I was in Kindergarten because I didn’t know who he was. He only stopped working when I graduated college.
I grew up with a lot of cousins, back when we were able to go out and play together during summers, take meals at their houses, go swimming at the beach and the like.
I am a bookworm. I started reading at age 9, paper backs and fairy tale stories. My first books were Beauty and the Beast and Jack and the Beanstalk. Then the popular books were Sweet Valley Twins, Sweet Dreams, Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys. Up to now, I read books and purchase them at discount book stores already. I can no longer spend so much on books because there are cheaper alternatives.
As I said, I hate people. Even then, I wasn’t very sociable. I didn’t know whom to share my secrets, except my sister of course. I was really quite happy with my books and staying in my room. And besides, my mom wasn’t such a fan of us going out anyway. I am actually quite pleased with the #stayhome thing because then I wouldn’t have to go on meetings and work.
My favorite movie is The Sound of Music. I watch it at least once a year and can sing all the songs, word for word. I also loved Coming to America, Little Rascals, White Chicks, The Godfather series, The Phantom of the Opera and many more.
I used to binge watch a lot of TV series but due to lack of time and desire, I have stopped. I did finish about 4 Korean Dramas this quarantine season. I decided no quit because it was wreaking havoc on my sleeping pattern.
I like songs more than the singer. I am not choosy on who sings the song as long as I like it. But I did love Alanis Morissette, Shania Twain, Westlife growing up.
I suck at nursing sick people. I do not know what to do with them and I hate getting sick myself. Added to that, I absolutely abhor needles, getting blood drawn and injections. I was only confined to the hospital twice, one when I gave birth, the next when I got into a motorcycle accident. (We were hit, by the way, just near the house.)
I can cook but not as deliciously as my mother and sister. I barely taste the food I make but they can pass muster. I am better with desserts although I am not into baking because I find cakes too much trouble and finicky.
I do not have a lot of friends now. I spend more time at home or at work and only go out with a few friends from church and some family friends. Other than that, I have no social life to speak of.
I always tell the truth, I trust easily and just take it in stride if people cheat or lie to me. When they do, I no longer like them and cut them off from my life. Simple.
I am so bored right now.